Though we interchangeably use the words “positive thinking” and “positive attitude” we need to recognize that they are not the same. The difference is important because positive thinking is becoming a fad which is taking us back to the dark ages of superstitions and irrational beliefs. Positive thinking is closing your eyes and chanting the positive thinking mantra hoping things to turn better or to materialize. The positive attitude is accepting what you see with eyes wide open and still maintaining the ability to function with confidence at your fullest potential. Positive thinking is a belief, a positive attitude is a realization. Positive thinking is a method, a positive attitude is a principle. Methods must be applied selectively, whereas principles have a universal application. Positive thinking is an effort of the mind; a positive attitude is effortlessly being your authentic self.
The positive attitude is a value which becomes a part of your being once we realize:
A. our humanness
B. that you are immensely fortunate
C. that this is the best time ever to be alive
D. that life is short, precious, and beautiful
E. that humanity is marching in the right direction
F. that neither you nor the earth is the center of the world
G. that happiness is struggling for the world you want to see
H. that life and existence has nothing to do with your definition of fairness
I. that the modern world offers limitless opportunities almost democratically
But, we have a new breed of self-help gurus who want us to - ignore harsh realities, avoid talking about obstacles and risks, and hope that things will turn good by wishing. They are the agents of “positive thinking”. Positive thinkers are often in denial of reality. Their whole objective is to create a fairy world in their minds. I agree, there is nothing wrong with confidence and cheer, but there are such things as real problems that need to be dealt with realistically. Too much positive thinking leads to self-delusion.
The troubles created by the “positive thinking” trend are:
1) It has become a religious cult: We have come to use the words ‘positive thinking’ and ‘good’ almost interchangeably. If you can look at only the bright side only then you are nice, normal and moral. If you are a realist and look at the whole picture you are branded as bad, weird, and immoral.
2) Blindness to Risks: There are blind positivists who are insensitive to the surrounding and thus blind to the risks involved. Be it business, investments or adventure, we need to ask hard questions and be ready before venturing. We prefer a physician who looks at all the possible reasons of our illness; rather than the one who is thinking positively about the cause and hopes there is no serious reason and thus avoids further investigation.
3) The wishing tree delusion – ‘Law of Attraction’: They believe that “right thinking attracts right things” in your life - if you just wish for something that something will be attracted in your life. Though its common sense that thoughts and attitudes influence your reality, these folks carry it much farther than that. They believe that your thinking literally controls and shapes the physical properties of time and space around you. The naïve part about those who believe in the Law of Attraction is that they usually ignore or try their best to forget about all the times bad things happen to them in spite of their wishing. Psychologists call this as selective bias, or confirmation bias: picking and choosing the reality in order to fit your bias. It’s a form of self-delusion that creates narcissists who think they’re at the center of the world, that all they have to do to fix the world is to think positively. Rhonda Byrne the author of “The Secret” when confronted with the Tsunami of 2006, cited the law of attraction, and stated that disasters like tsunamis can happen only to people who are on the same frequency as the event. By the same logic, the landslide in July’14 in Malin Village near Pune in India where 158 people buried under the debris occurred because of the frequency of the landslide and incessant rains matched with those 158 poor souls. What a nasty conclusion.
4) Self-absorbed and instilling guilt: Positive thinking people may sound great during a brief conversation, but they are difficult to have a realistic discussion with because of their adamant and judgmental attitude. They are unable to listen to realistic thinkers and are quick to label them as negative, moron and unhappy. They are quick to rubbish any statement which doesn’t fit into their narrow idea of “positive thinking”. Either they become an irritation to talk to, or they create guilt in other people for not being able to think positively.
5) Self-improvement hampered: Firstly, though they may claim to be spiritual, they are not truth seekers. They view positive thinking as the ultimate accomplishment in self-improvement. The more delusional a person the more their spiritual arrogance. This halts their self-improvement progress. Secondly, if we delude ourselves into believing that everything is good, when really it’s not, little by little we compromise our values, our standards, and our potential.
6) Hypocrisies: Most of the positive thinkers are positive just on the surface. Below the surface, they throb with negativity. For the society, its ethics and values are degrading. For them, climate and nature show their fury as a result of their unhappiness with human development. For them, the past was good, the present is bad and they sadistically predict that the future is going to be worse. For them, freedom means anarchy and control means culture. They criticize but make sure to cover it up with a spoofed smile. Their positive personal appearance is just a happy facade. The guilt of hypocrisy, regret not speaking up, resentment against people – all this suppression is too much to bear. Behind that tight smile lies the despair of helplessness. Positive thinking instills discord in your personality.
Thinking is an effort. Positive thinking is an effort of the mind to be positive. This positivity cannot sustain unless it becomes a part of your being as natural as your instincts. The positive attitude becomes a part of your being. The truly self-confident are those who have in some way made peace with the world and their role in it. They do not need to expend effort censoring or otherwise controlling their thoughts. Life is great and short. The positive attitude is the only sensible attitude for us to live with.
Love,
Mahendra Chaturmutha
India
